AMUSING SIGNS

In a Paris hotel elevator:

Please leave your values at the front desk.

On the menu of a Swiss Restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

In a clothing store:

Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.

In a Swiss mountain inn:

Special today - no ice cream.

In a Tacoma Washington men's clothing store:

15 men's wool suits - 100 Dollars - they won't last an hour.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

In a New York Restaurant:

Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

In a Budapest Zoo:

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it

to the guard on duty.

Spotted in a Safari park:

Elephants, please stay in your car.

Notice in Health food shop window:

Closed due to illness.

On a plumber's truck:

We repair what your husband fixed.

At an Optometrist's office:

If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the

right place.

In an office:

After tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside

down on the draining board.