Complaints to City of Sheffield Metropolitan District.

Genuine extracts of letters to Council Offices !

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This is to let you know there's a smell coming from the man next

door.

The lavatory is blocked, this is caused by the boys next door

throwing their balls on the roof.

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is runnung away from

the wall.

Can you please tell me when our repairs are going to be done, as

my wife is about to become an expectant mother ? !

I want some repairs doing to my cooker, as it has backfired

and burnt my knob off.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until

it is cleared.

The person next door has a large erection in his back garden,

which is unsightly and dangerous !

Will you please send someone to mend our broken path. Yes-

terday my wife tripped and fell over and she is now pregnant !

Our kitchen floor is very damp, we have two children and

would like a third, so will you send someone to do something

about it ?

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny

colour and not fit to drink!

This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken, and we

cannot get BBC2 .

Could you please send someone to fix our bath tap. My wife got her

toe stuck in it and it is very uncomfortable for us.

I awoke this morning and found my water boiling.

TALK ABOUT CONFUCIUS!

I hope this made you laugh !