How to wash a cat

a notice to ALL CAT LOVERS out there,
PLEASE DON'T BE TOO ANGRY ABOUT THIS,
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Thoroughly clean the toilet. # Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted. # Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. # In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any thing they can find. # Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective. # Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door. # Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids. # The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself. Sincerely, A DOG OWNER