Computer Talk

Log on - Make the braai hotter (bbq)
Log off - The braai is too hot
Monitor - Keeping an eye on the braai
Download - Get the firewood off the bakkie (Van)
Hard drive - Trip back home without any cold beer
Floppy disc - What you get lifting too much firewood at once
Keyboard - Where you hang the bakkie and bike keys
Window - What you shut when it's cold
Screen - What you shut in the mosquito season
Byte - What mosquitoes do
Bit - What mosquitoes did
Megabyte - What mosquitoes at the lake do
Chip - A bar snack
Micro chip - What's left in the bag after you have eaten the chips
Modem - What you did to the lawn
Dot matrix - Old Jan Matrix's wife
Laptop - Where the cat sleeps
Software - Plastic knives and forks you get at the KFC
Hardware - Real stainless steel knives and forks from Checkers
Mouse - What eats the grain in the shed
Main frame - What keeps the shed up
Web - What spiders make
Web site - The shed or under the Veranda
Cursor - The old bloke who swears a lot
Search engine - What you do when the bakkie won't go
Yahoo - What you say when the bakkie does go
Upgrade - A steep hill
Server - The person at the pub that brings out the lunch
User - The neighbour who keeps borrowing things
Network - When you have to repair your fishing net
Internet - complicated fishnet repair method
Netscape - When fish manoeuvres out of reach of net
Online - When you get the laundry hung out
Offline - When the pegs don't hold the washing up
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With the compliments of GPSA